Purpose: Chips are awesome. Ruffles, Doritos, Cheetos, Lays,
tostitos, pringles, so on and so forth. But then there are Funyuns.
A chalky, gritty, abomination that just happens to have amazing
onion-garlicy seasonings. The purpose of this experiment is to
determine if those flavors could be transmuted upon a blank dorito
like chip. Identifying a proper vessel for this bouquet of flavors
could unlock next level snacking. Therefore, in this experiment,
Scientific AmeriKen will attempt to hack the funyun with a dorito
and make the Funrito!
The experiment will require two critical steps, the first will
involve de-seasoning of the dorito. As the dorito is likely created
blank and seasoned as needed it is hypothesized that this process
will be relatively simple. Secondly, re-seasoning with funyun
flavors is also hypothesized to be a simple process as the seasoning
seem to readily come off onto one's hands while eating.
Materials and Methods: Used in this experiment were a bag of
funyuns, dorito cool ranch flavor, and dorito salsa verde (Figure
right). For de-seasoning, doritos were dunked in a glass of water
and scrubbed clean with fingers (approximately 5-10 seconds).
Three strategies were attempted to dry the chips include air dry,
paper towel dry, and toaster oven bake dry. Next, for re-seasoning,
dried chips were either thrown slightly wet, dry, or dry and coated
with olive oil, into and mixed around a funyuns bag - or patted
onto crushed funyun particles. Taste testing was performed by
Scientific AmeriKen and son.
Results: Initially both types of dorito chips were de-seasoned
by dipping the chip into clean filtered water (Figure below, left).
Post-use water is pictured in Figure below, center. Effectiveness
of de-seasoning was assessed through tasting of the chip. Residual
spiciness (presumably capsaicins) were detected on the de-seasoned
salsa verde chips, whereas cool ranch chips were completely
devoid of flavor - these were subsequently used for the rest of
the experiment. Next, three strategies were used for drying of
chips following this procedure including letting chips sit to
air dry, patting dry with a paper towel, and oven baking them
(Figure below, right). Taste testing revealed air dried chips
were stale following the process, while timing was difficult during
oven baking between drying and burning. Experiment proceeded with
paper towel dried and oven dried chips.
Next, for re-seasoning, three strategies were used including
placing dried chips or olive oil coated chips into the funyuns
bag and shaking it around (Figure below, left) or by placing the
dried or olive oil coated chips on top of and rubbing around in
finely crushed funyuns. Final product of this latter process is
shown in Figure below, right. It was noted that seasoning did
not collect on the chips by shaking inside the funyun bag regardless
of preparation style. Finely crushed funyuns did however nicely
adhered to olive oil coated chips and these were subsequently
used in the taste test.
Finally, Scientific AmeriKen and son conducted a taste test of
the finished product. It was the opinion of ScientificAmeriKen
that the chip had a bland flavor with olive oil undertones. The
son of ScientificAmeriKen seemed neither pleased by the final
product nor disgusted by it, Scientific AmeriKen describes the
overall reaction from the kid as, "Meh" (Figure below).
Conclusion: To the surprise of ScientificAmeriKen, the Funyuns
chips could not be "alchemized" into funritos style
doritos. Although there may have been some issue involving the
use of olive oil as the glue to hold the seasoning, ultimately
the failure was in the lack of robust flavor. The seasoning
strength of the funyuns could not overcome to tortilla chip flavor.
Perhaps this explains the need for the mealy styrofoam vessel
that the funyuns people have chosen for their product. One interesting
development from this study however was in discovering what might
have been a better tasting dorito created by toasting the chips.
More research may involve toasting different chips to enhance
the flavor experience.
Scientific AmeriKen Thanks the efforts of son in the creation
of this experiment.